Gays Struggling to Connect in Marin: A Response

Thanks to Paul Liberatore for shining a light on the LGBT community in Marin. Spectrum LGBT Center has been in Marin since 1982, providing programs and services for, and on behalf of, the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community in the North Bay.

http://www.marinij.com/lifestyles/ci_18736256?source=most_viewed

Throughout my 13 years as executive director, I’ve heard many LGBT people lament that they cannot find other gay people in Marin. I believe that many LGBT people living in Marin actually LIKE the fact that there is no gay ‘scene’. They have escaped gay culture and are quietly living among their straight neighbors, raising families and hosting backyard barbeques. Older LGBT people in their 70s and 80s often tend to be less open about who they are, much like their peers throughout the U.S. This tendency, by the way, puts older LGBT people at great risk for isolation and depression.

A sort of assimilation occurs in Marin County, not because it is such an open and accepting place for LGBT people, but because some LGBT people are reluctant to be completely out and visible here. Why?

I offer this observation: It’s not cool to be blatantly gay here in Marin. A standard of conformity compels some to remove the rainbow bumper stickers from the cars, and keep the gay flag inside the house. Marin, after all, is a well-heeled county. We can’t have our glitter falling just anywhere. We’ve learned how to pass.

We like to think of Marin as being progressive, fair-minded, and accepting of all people. But consider this: In 2008, 25% of Marin voters rejected gay marriage. The idea of incorporating gay people into middle and high school history lessons infuriates many in this county, and not just because it is now required by law. Many assisted living facilities in Marin prevent same-sex couples from occupying the same room, giving preference to married heterosexual couples. And, while there are a number of congregations that welcome LGBT people and families, Marin’s faith communities are divided on this issue. (A little-known fact: for nearly 40 years, San Rafael has been home to a prominent founder of the ex-gay movement, who advertises his ministry as ‘finding freedom from homosexuality’).

Spectrum has long been involved with educating the community about acceptance, understanding, and full inclusion for LGBT people. We are making every effort to open doors among traditional communities to start dialog and raise awareness. It’s not always easy, but there have been positive shifts within our schools and community institutions since our founding in 1982.

Here’s the good news: there are, in fact, a number of events that occur on a regular basis for the LGBT community. Spectrum keeps our website calendar updated with all that we know about at www.spectrumLGBTcenter.org. If you are one of those gays struggling to find your community in Marin, don’t expect to bump in to it on the street. You’re going to have to get out and find it. And, if you are willing to be out like Vincent and Douglass, give me a call. We need you to help us create the community you’re hoping to find.

Paula Pilecki, Executive Director
Spectrum LGBT Center
(415) 472-1945, ext. 209
www.spectrumLGBTcenter.org

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Marin Youth Photovoice Campaign

The Youth Leadership Institute is now seeking high-school age youth
participants for a summer-long project using photography to build
awareness of current social justice issues. This is a special invitation to encourage LGBTQQ*-identified youth to participate!

Orientation and Kick-Off Meeting Tuesday, May 24, 4 - 8 PM; dinner provided. San Rafael location (call for address).

To sign up or get more info, contact Kristen Law, MA, klaw@yli.org or (415) 836-9160, ext. 225.

Meeting a few hours every other week throughout the summer, Photovoice Campaign participants will:

*Advocate for social justice and accepting school environments by photographing and documenting your own experiences
*Work collaboratively with other youth
*Have an opportunity to learn social justice photography and get your work displayed in a community exhibit
*Promote positive change and acceptance in your school and community
*Gain skills in photography, research, and public speaking

Photovoice is for everyone - no experience needed.

*Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning.

DOWNLOAD A COPY OF THE FLYER HERE

A Personal Invitation from Kate Clinton: Watch the Vlog!

Watch this video of Kate Clinton, in her personal invitation to The Glee Party on Sunday, May 22nd.

Kate Clinton brings her Glee Party to Marin County on Sunday, May 22nd, 1 PM at Hoytt Theater, Osher Marin Jewish Community Center, 200 North San Pedro Road, San Rafael. Tickets: $45. A benefit for Spectrum, the North Bay's LGBT center.

Make it Better, Marin

Doug Williams attended public school in Marin County. In this video, he talks about how principals, superintendents, teachers, and parents can make school a better place for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) students.



Thanks to Lacy Atkins for volunteering her time to shoot and edit this video for us; and of course to Doug for speaking!

If you live or work in Marin County, or attend school in Marin, and would like to shoot a "Make it Better, Marin" video contact Paula Pilecki at (415) 472-1945, ext. 209.

Support Group Forming for Marin LGBTQ Youth

Spectrum LGBT Center announces a new support group for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning young people ages 14-19. The first meeting will be on Wednesday, November 10th, 5:00 - 6:30 pm at Spectrum's offices in San Rafael.

"This group will provide a safe, supportive environment in which young people can ask questions and be themselves," says Cristin Brew, MFT, Program Director at Spectrum and facilitator of the group.  "Many teens go through a period when they have questions about their sexual orientation or gender identity, and will be reluctant to speak with a parent, school counselor, or friend.  This group is for them."

Parents, teachers, and school counselors are encouraged to pass the word on about this group to young people they feel would benefit from attending.  Download and print the flyer here.

For more information, call Cristin Brew, MFT at (415) 472-1945, ext. 203.

MARIN COUNTY RALLY TO MAKE IT BETTER - OCT. 11

Come out in Marin on October 11th to make it better for ALL youth

October 11th is National Coming Out Day. Let’s rally together to:

*Support LGBT youth*

*Raise awareness about teen suicide*

*Build communities and schools that are safe for all our youth and families*

Gather with us on the steps of San Rafael City Hall

MONDAY, OCTOBER 11th, 6-7 PM

San Rafael City Hall Plaza – 1400 Fifth Avenue (between C and D Streets)

Music TBA

Confirmed Speakers (partial listing):

Mary Jane Burke, Superintendent, Marin County Office of Education

Damon Connolly, San Rafael City Councilmember

Paula Pilecki, Spectrum LGBT Center
Maureen Sedonaen, Youth Leadership Institute 

Community Co-Sponsors: Local Music Vibe

Organized by Spectrum LGBT Center 

Complete this form to have your organization listed as a community co-sponsor.

NCLR and Spectrum Tea Dance, 8/22

Don't let summer escape without enjoying the company of your favorite people.  Spectrum LGBT Center and NCLR are hosting a Tea Dance on Sunday, August 22, 4:00 - 7:00 PM at The Pleasure is Mine Restaurant @Harbor Point, 475 East Strawberry Drive, Mill Valley. Enjoy lovely vistas of Strawberry Point and San Francisco Bay from the deck and dance to the tunes of DJ Dana Jae. 

Our favorite local hero Kate Kendell will be on hand to share her thoughts on the recent Ninth Circuit Court Ruling on keeping the marriage stay in place.  Spectrum's Executive Director Paula Pilecki will talk about how you can get involved with your local LGBT community center and make a difference, and give you a sneak preview of upcoming events.

$20 admission includes valet parking and hors d’oeuvres. No-host full bar.

For more information and to RSVP, please call Eleanor Palacios at 415.365.1309 or email epalacios@nclrights.org.

Faces of Spectrum / Las Caras de Spectrum

Faces of Spectrum is a project designed to raise the visibility of LGBT community members and their straight allies in the North Bay.

Spectrum LGBT Center would like to thank the volunteers that have been instrumental in making this project a reality. Thank you to Wade for being the first Face of Spectrum and allowing us to share his story, to Nik Wilhelm for graciously taking some amazing photos, to Becks Hawkins of Dirty Hippie Feet Design for generously giving us brilliant graphic design and artwork, and Marisol Muñoz-Kiehne, PhD for her translation services.

Faces of Spectrum in English and Spanish!

 

 

 

Be on the lookout for the Faces of Spectrum around the North Bay!

Golden Gate Ferry adds extra service for the Pride Parade/Celebration

Ply the Bay Aboard GOLDEN GATE LARKSPUR FERRY to the 40th Annual San Francisco Pride Celebration and Parade

Sunday, June 27, 2010

The San Francisco Pride Celebration and Parade takes place on Saturday, June 26 (noon to 6 pm) and Sunday, June 27, 2010 (noon to 7 pm) at the Civic Center, San Francisco. This year's theme is "40 AND FABULOUS."

On Sunday, June 27, the Pride Parade takes place on Market Street, starting at 10:30 am and ending at the Civic Center celebration area. The San Francisco Pride Celebration is packed with a wide variety of exhibitors, artists, music of all kinds, performers, dance stages and venues, and fun. There really is something for everyone. Admission is free.

GOLDEN GATE LARKSPUR FERRY – ONE ADDED TRIP - SUNDAY, JUNE 27 only
One Larkspur-San Francisco ferry trip will be added to depart the Larkspur Ferry Terminal at 8:45 am and arrive at the San Francisco Ferry Terminal, behind the Ferry Building at 9:35 am. The Larkspur Terminal is located at 101 East Sir Francis Drake, Larkspur. 

More info: http://goldengate.org/news/ferry/prideferry.php

An Open Conversation with 5th Graders

On June 3rd, I had the privilege of working with four classes of 5th grade students at one of the San Rafael elementary schools. Standing in front of a sea of 10 and 11 year olds is beyond intimidating. After about five minutes of nerves at the beginning of each class, I relaxed into the brilliance of talking with them for an hour. These kids were amazing.

I had two phenomenal volunteer speakers with me from Spectrum’s Speakers Bureau program. One speaker told of his experience being the 5th grader that teased other presumably gay boys and growing up to be the "out" high schooler who was teased on a daily basis because he was gay. The other speaker told of her experience having been born and raised male, joining the Marine Corps, and eventually transitioning to female. Can any of you imagine being in 5th grade and having someone stand in front of you and say, "I was born a boy, but now I’m a girl?" Or, having someone stand in front of you and say, "I will never be able to take back the pain I caused some of the boys that I teased that did grow up to be gay men, but I can try to make better decisions now." There is no way that ever would have been my reality in 5th grade!

The young people at this school blew my mind. We had conversations about bullying, teasing, harassing, how it feels to be teased, how it feels to be the teaser, and how we can all work together to make the school safer for all students, including those who are LGBT.

I think that my favorite take-away memory is from a young person in the last group of the day. We asked the group, “How do you think someone feels when they are being teased or bullied?” One young person said, "It's just like People magazine. When someone like Brad Pitt does something kind of silly, People magazine jumps all over him. They put it all over in their magazine. A lot of Americans get really excited because they can feel better about themselves knowing that someone really famous like Brad Pitt did something silly. But, sometimes I wonder if anyone stops to think about how it makes Brad Pitt feel. It might really hurt his feelings."

It was such a great experience. Time and time again, I am so grateful that I am able to work here at Spectrum and be part of an organization that really is doing groundbreaking work. Every day, I feel like we are creating a safer community right here in Marin County for all LGBT people.

I think that the 5th grade students said it best: "It feels icky to be bullied so we should all look out for each other and take care of each other."

Casey Halcro coordinates Spectrum's Speakers Bureau and Youth programs.  Her email address is casey@spectrumLGBTcenter.org

Spectrum LGBT Center

Faces of Spectrum

Faces of Spectrum is a new project designed to raise the visibility of LGBT community members in the North Bay.

We would like to thank the volunteers that have been instrumental in making this project a reality. Thank you to Wade Flores for being the first Face of Spectrum and allowing us to share his story, to Nik Wilhelm for graciously taking some amazing photos, to Becks Hawkins of Dirty Hippie Feet Design for generously giving us brilliant graphic design and artwork, and Marisol Muñoz-Kiehne, PhD for her translation services.

Be on the lookout for the Faces of Spectrum in the North Bay!

In English and Spanish!

Spectrum would like to highlight all of the different folks that we work with here in the North Bay and we need your help! We would love to have you be the next “Face of Spectrum.” What that entails is allowing us to use your story and a photo of you. Please call or email Casey Halcro at 415-472-1945 x 213 or casey@spectrumlgbtcenter.org if you are interested in being the next “Face of Spectrum.”

A Day OUT-doors at the Theatre: Guys and Dolls, The Mountain Play

Stand up and say that you're proud to love musical theatre!

For 97 years, the Mountain Play has been presenting high quality performances at the beautiful, outdoor, 4000 seat Cushing Memorial Amphitheater on Mount Tamalpais in Marin County.

This season the classic, golden age Broadway musical Guys and Dolls will be presented.

Gather your friends, picnic and hike, bike, ride or free shuttle bus your way to the amphitheater on June 12th.

You don't want to miss this great outdoor adventure.

Come continue the tradition or start a new one!

Spectrum will have a booth at the event!

Purchase tickets online at http://www.MountainPlay.org

Marin Community Foundation Grants $1.1 Million to Fund Services for Older Adults in Marin County

Novato, CA (April 13, 2010)—To help Marin County's older adults benefit from a range of health and social services and have opportunities to be involved in their community, the Marin Community Foundation (MCF) is making over $1 million in grants to local organizations serving this population.

"The Foundation has a long history of supporting organizations that provide services to older adults in Marin," said MCF President Thomas Peters in announcing the grants. "Since the growth rate of the older population in Marin is the fastest of any county in the state, it's important that as a community we come together to provide coordinated and effective support to these residents."

"These services help ensure the health and independence of Marin's older adults, and as a result, everyone in the community can benefit from their immense talent and skills," he added.

Direct services being funded include health screenings for older adults living in low-income housing facilities, with nursing students at Dominican University of California overseeing their care and improving safety in their homes.

Other service providers will receive grants to provide classes, meals, and case management assistance in order to help older adults access such services as transportation and in-home support as well as public assistance programs.

Additionally, Spectrum LGBT Center of the North Bay will train organizations serving older adults to work more effectively with lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender clients.

A second group of grants will encourage older adults in Marin to become involved in volunteer and employment opportunities. For example, a grant to the Center for Volunteer and Nonprofit Leadership of Marin will fund its efforts to recruit and manage volunteers, some of whom will be helping at agencies that provide services to other older adults in Marin.

Grants will also provide scholarships so older adults can attend a range of community activities throughout the county, including classes, health fairs, and other gatherings.

Also, a grant to the YWCA of San Francisco & Marin's FiftyPlus Employment Program will support instruction in computer skills as well the agency’s Job Seeker Institutes, which offer training in résumé writing and interview skills.

"Not only do we want to tap into a tremendous resource in our community," said Peters of these efforts, "but it's well known that older adults who are engaged in their community are healthier and remain independent longer."

"We are fortunate in Marin to have nonprofit agencies with a strong commitment to the county's older adults," said Peters. "By supporting their efforts, we are helping ensure that our county has a compassionate and effective support system in place to meet their needs."

The complete list of grants follows:

• Center for Volunteer and Nonprofit Leadership of Marin $75,000
• City of Novato-Novato Independent Elders Program  $70,000
• Dance Palace Community Center $20,000
• Dominican University of California $50,000
• Jewish Family and Children’s Services $75,000
• Meals of Marin $60,000
• Northern CA Presbyterian Homes and Services $20,000
• Novato Human Needs Center $40,000
• Senior Access $75,000 
• Spectrum LGBT Center of the North Bay $60,000
• West Marin Community Services $10,000
• West Marin Senior Services $200,000
• Whistlestop $275,000
• YWCA of San Francisco $75,000

About the Marin Community Foundation:
The Marin Community Foundation is the primary center for philanthropy in Marin County, CA, and is one of the largest community foundations in the U.S. It manages the assets of the Leonard and Beryl H. Buck Trust and 350 funds established by individuals, families, and businesses. The Foundation makes significant improvements in communities around the world in two ways: by spearheading initiatives for long-term, sustainable change in Marin, and by distributing grants from donor-advised funds locally, across the U.S., and around the world. 

Now in its 22nd year, the Marin Community Foundation has invested over $800 million in the work of nonprofit organizations. Its assets are approximately $1 billion, with annual grant distributions of approximately $50 million.

We All Count: The 2010 Census is Here

From Credo Action's website

The census tells the story of who we are as a nation, and that includes LGBT people — but only when we participate, and only when we're fully counted. Thanks to the collection of unmarried partner data, a more complete picture of who we are has emerged. For example, we know that:

•Same-sex couples live in 99% of all US Counties.

•LGBT parents live in 97% of all US Counties.

•Black and Latino same-sex couples are raising children at almost the same rates as their heterosexual peers, but on lower incomes ($10,000/yr less).

Still, there is no question on the 2010 census that asks individuals if they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender — and LGBT questions are not included in almost all other major federal surveys.

It's a big problem. The census, which counts everyone living in the United States every ten years, provides the data that is used to determine funding and policy priorities at the national and state level.

Being counted isn’t just a numbers game, but a question of whether the LGBT community gets access to the resources that support our health, economic well-being, safety and families. The LGBT community must be visible--and that means participating in the census, but it also means being counted fully.

That's why the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, together with CREDO Action, has launched Queer the Census. We must ensure that LGBT people are accurately counted in the next census — and we need your help to make it happen. Here's how:

1. Sign the petition to the right to pledge your support of a census that counts everyone!

2. Get the Queer the Census sticker and use it to seal the back of your census envelope.

3. Spread the word about the Queer the Census campaign.

4. Make a contribution to support the campaign.

You can get your very own FREE Queer the Census sticker at http://act.credoaction.com/sticker/queerthecensus/. CREDO Action is partnering with the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force to make sure the census counts everyone. Order your sticker now and use it to seal the back of your census envelope when it arrives in the mail.

The sticker is free. Stickers are 4.5" x 6" (about the size of a postcard). Make sure you order your sticker before midnight March 22nd so you get it in time to mail with your census form on April 1st!

March for Peace and Non-Violence - Hosted by Marin Academy High School

March for Peace and Non- Violence

You Are Invited!
December 2, 2009

Where: We will start on the lawn in front of the San Rafael Library (5th and E St.), march through downtown San Rafael, then gather at the Cold Stone Plaza.

When: 12:15pm (Meet at 5th and E St., San Rafael)
12:30pm (Gather at Cold Stone Plaza)
12:45pm (Send the Marchers to San Francisco)

On October 2, 2009, the World's first International March for Peace and Non-Violence began. Currently 25 marchers are traveling across six contents asking for the elimination of nuclear weapons and an end to war. As the march makes its way across the world many honorary marches are taking place.

On Wednesday, December 2, the World March for Peace and Non-Violence will be coming through the Bay Area. Marin Academy will have the honor of hosting three of the marchers, and in conjunction with their efforts, the Marin Academy Peace and Justice Coalition will be sponsoring its own march in support of Peace and Non-Violence. Our march will be led by the International Marchers and our honored special guest, Takashi Tanemori, a survivor of the Hiroshima Atomic Bomb. From the San Rafael Library, we will march through downtown San Rafael to the Cold Stone Plaza for a culminating event, sending the World Marchers off on their continued journey. For more information on the March, go to www.worldmarchusa.net.

We encourage you to join us and we will be honored if you can participate. The more voices for peace and non-violence in any form, the bigger the impact we will have.

Thank You So Much!
Marin Academy Peace and Justice Coalition
For more information contact Mark at mstefanski@ma.org.

ONCE AND FOR ALL: What’s next for marriage equality in California?

A Community and Strategy Forum
Wednesday, June 10, 7:00 - 9:00 PM
Acqua Hotel
555 Redwood Highway
Mill Valley

In the wake of the California State Supreme Court's decision to uphold Proposition 8 while letting 18,000 same-sex marriages remain valid, the marriage equality movement is at a crossroads in California.

This forum will provide information about new statewide organizing efforts to win marriage equality back; how the initiative process works for and against that effort; and next steps everyone can take to secure marriage equality in California - once and FOR ALL.

Guest speakers (partial list)

Bob Harmon
ACLU of Northern California, Marin Chapter

Terry Stewart
Attorney who argued before the
California State Supreme Court to overturn Prop 8

Andrea Shorter
Coalitions Coordinator, Equality California

Stuart Gaffney & John Lewis
Plaintiffs in the original Marriage case
Marriage Equality USA & Asian Pacific Islander Equality

This is a free event; donations always welcome to assist with event costs.

Hosted by Spectrum LGBT Center

Co-sponsored by Equality California, Marriage Equality USA (partial list)

To RSVP and for more info call (415) 457-1115 ext. 209

A Turning Point for Marriage Equality

This morning, the California Supreme Court, by a 6-1 vote, upheld Proposition 8, which added a section to the California Constitution providing "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

The court also unanimously held that the new constitutional provision applies only prospectively, and does not affect the continued validity of the estimated 18,000 marriages of same-sex couples that occurred prior to November 5, 2008, when the new constitutional provision took effect.

This decision highlights the very serious flaw in our initiative process that allows us to eliminate rights for classes of people so easily. We may be sad, angry, and even incredulous over this decision. But one thing is certain: marriage equality will come to California, as well as the entire nation. And we now have 18,000 legally married same-sex couples to stand with us in this quest.

A number of local, state, and national actions are planned in the wake of the decision. Find out more about these actions here.

If you are in, or close to, Marin County and cannot make it to San Francisco for any of the large rallies, Spectrum and Dan Miller invite you to gather on the garden patio at the Panama Hotel, 4 Bayview Street, San Rafael on Tuesday evening, May 26, from 5:30 - 7:00 PM (no-host bar, light appetizers). Location of Panama Hotel (map)

RALLY THIS SATURDAY IN FRESNO! MEET IN THE MIDDLE FOR EQUALITY to galvanize our forces with a day of unity of all peoples - gay and straight alike. Our peaceful events, including our Equality March and our Equality Rally, share the theme of "United for Equailty". Join with us and then take our vision back to your own communities where we can work together to change our world to include federal level equality, access & justice for all.

MARIN COMMUNITY FORUM, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 10, 7-9 PM, ACQUA HOTEL, MILL VALLEY: Join Spectrum at this community forum featuring a panel of speakers, including Terry Stewart, an attorney who was on the legal team that argued to overturn Proposition 8 before the California Supreme Court. More info coming -- stay up to date by visiting Spectrum's website.

We must continue to believe that justice will prevail.

We must continue to have conversations about marriage equality, and how important they are to us all -- gay and straight alike. Because we know that the conversations are what change the hearts and minds of our friends, families, and neighbors.

We must channel our angry energy toward achieving our goal of equality for all.

I am thinking about a couple of lines from the poem "What I Have Learned So Far" by Mary Oliver:

Can one be passionate about the just, the
ideal, the sublime, and the holy, and yet commit
to no labor in its cause? I don't think so.

All summations have a beginning, all effect has a
story, all kindness begins with the sown seed.
Thought buds toward radiance. The gospel of
light is the crossroads of -- indolence, or action.

Be ignited, or be gone.

Be ignited. Join the cause. Don't give up.

Paula Pilecki
Executive Director
Spectrum LGBT Center
www.spectrumLGBTcenter.org